"What will happen next? I don't wanna know..."

This weekend was absolutely positively amazing...

He is absolutely positively amazing.

So, we get to the pow wow on Thursday, I have no idea when he's supose to be coming (or if he's even coming) and I'm excited to pow wow, hopeful I'm gonna see him, nervous about multiple things, and trying to keep it all together.

So, Friday goes amazing.
I get to see some of my favorite guys from Tennessee of the Southern Echo drum.
I get to hang out with them and most of my family not to mention we get to go to the capitol in Tallahassee and drum and dance and raise awareness for HIV/AIDS prevention amongst Native Americans.

Of course, he doesn't show. Now I'm kinda worried, but he'd mentioned not being able to come until Saturday, so I had hope still. I go to bed and wake up the next morning, I'm hanging out with Paris and some of the guys from Southern Echo and I ask Paris if I can use her laptop to check my myspace messages...I check them, he's read but not responded to the last message I sent him...this is when I start to worry....Things like "well, what if he's just blowing me off?" pop in my head and I'm kinda bummed for a while...But I didn't let that show.
I was worried he was just like all those other guys...

Saturday morning was kinda a bummer to me...Then I saw Troy, his friend that was trying to ditch on him all week. There was a little hope, but I still didn't know.
I had to block him out though, I had committments and responsibilities to take care of.
Then, when walking back from someone's camp I saw him standing there talking.
I was so relieved. You have no idea how happy I was to see he wasn't like all those other jerks.
He actually showed up...But it wasn't until like half an hour to an hour later before I actually got a chance to talk to him. Nana had stayed just to meet him, she walked over and I don't know that you could tell or not but I was happy he was there. We didn't get to talk a whole lot on Saturday, but the harrassing started. I felt kinda bad because I really didn't expect everyone to find out he was interested in me so quickly, however...He put it out there first.
Which was surprising as well...

He actually survived through Perry, which I am not only impressed with but I'm really happy about. He's really sweet, very helpful, very respectful...Not to mention he has the most beautiful eyes! I told him before I left Sunday that I was really impressed that he didn't run away after all the hell everyone tried putting him through...Put him through.
Then I hugged him...and we kissed...Of course, if you would've asked mamaw she would make you think it was some big wet sloppy tongue wrestling. But no, it was sweet and respectful...and it made my stomach do backflips and cartwheels at the same time.

It was obvious neither of us wanted to part ways but we had to...
We've been texting for a better part of the day...He says his mom wants to meet me.
I'm nervous about that...For multiple reasons.
I've never had to meet the mom, and I think I'm nervous because it actually matters this time. I've come to the realization 100% that he's not after a piece of ass...He's not after a weekend thing.....and I don't think anybody realizes not only how much a relief it is to me but how happy I am about it.

Of course, something I've been thinking about...
I wasn't looking for any kind of a relationship, I didn't think anything of it when I asked him if he would two-step with me the first time I met him...I just had to lead the dance and didn't have anybody to do it with and he happened to be standing at the east gate that day...So I asked him...lol I asked him if he had any money, when he said no I asked him if he would two-step with me lmao I had totally forgotten about that until now. But anyways...
We danced together...Who knew a dance could start so much? =)

He told me before I left that he wishes I would talk more though...I was kinda shy around him all weekend...We'll have to work on that one...something I just realized as well...He told me multiple times that he really likes me...I don't know that I ever actually told him the feelings are mutual.
I know Pretty Boy told him I liked him, but I don't think I did...I hope he doesn't think that I don't...Because I'm pretty sure the feelings are 100% mutual.

Something else I noticed and I was talking about with mom earlier...
He is sooooo completely not my usual "type".
He's military, smokes, has a buzzed haircut, and well for lack of a better way to put it, he's completely white and has barely any knowledge of the Native culture...
But, for some reason none of that seems to matter...and that's what really tells me this is different than normal...The fact that he can be so many things I swore I'd never fall for and I still get butterflies and can't wait to see him again...

This blog turned out a lot longer than I had planned...
But none-the-less, I just had to get some things out that had been on my mind...
I look forward to seeing where this is gonna go...

<3 Brandi

This blog has turned out a lot longer than I had planned...But I just needed to write and put some things down that were on my mind...I'm