So flippin' confusing....

And kinda frustrating...
I hate having doubts.

I know I said I couldn't deny he makes me smile...
But I can't deny the doubts I've been having as well...

I'm scared I'm going to push him away...How being the "good girl" is gonna push him away.
But I'm not gonna change for him either...
Then it confuses me when I go to his profile and see some girl leavin' a comment about she still loves him and still wants to be with him...and this was like, recent.
I'm so scared of being played and treated the way I was treated with Bobby and I'm so scared of letting that get in the way of the possible relationship I could have with him.
I'm just tired of getting hurt and getting the bad end of a situation...It's not fair.
I know I diserve better than that...I want better than that...
Do I have too high of expectations? I didn't think I did...

I don't know anymore....I'm not sure where this is gonna go...If anywhere and it's frustrating...
Not knowing....
Not knowing if he's serious....he says he doesn't play games with girls and I believe him...Until I think about how many times I was told something like that by other guys....Damn it.
Why do I have to fucking compare him to them? It's not fair to either of us.

I have to realize he isn't them.
I need to find some trust in him somehow...And I don't want to tell him all this and scare him off.
That's the last thing I want to do...

I'm looking forward to this weekend...To talk to him in person again...
I'm hoping I'll get a better perspective (and maybe a little more trust) that way.

But, I'm also partially scared that the ragging he is gonna get from everybody if he shows the slightest bit of interest in me is gonna scare him off...I'm hoping it's not.
But being as it pissed Bobby off and he stormed off....damn it.
Again, I'm comparing him to the itty bitty sorry excuse of a relationship I had with Bobby Watson. I really wish I would stop that. It gets frustrating.

Oh well....I need to pack stuff for this weekend.
I hope he gets to come tomorrow...It would be nice to see him...No matter how frustrated and confused I am right now...

- Me <3