Just a "quick" update on things...

Right, because my blog posts are short.
A lot has happend since I updated last.
After Chattahoochee I got sick, so instead of spreading the germ to everyone else (Even though, that is what happend to a lot of people at Chattahoochee) I skipped ceremony. However, I went to North Bay this past weekend.
Oh boy, it was amazing. No, amazing doesn't begin to describe it.
I went there Friday, I planned on dancing and seeing people I missed.
I got there and Anna was there, I saw Sandy, Bobby, Steven and Charlie. Papa John and Auntie Raven were there...The normal group of people I hang out with. I guess that's when it all started.
Bobby and Sandy invited me to dinner with them that night and I went with them, Steven and Charlie. It was interested, because other than last year at Floridatown when I stayed at Bobby and Sandy's house, I had never really been with them away from a pow wow. It was good though, we talked, caught up, Steven and Charlie made me laugh...and blush. A lot. lol
But it was awesome. I had a lot of fun and I wouldn't have traded that night for anything.
So, I went home that night (and as I teased Steven, I slept in my nice warm bed!) and we got up early Saturday morning and headed out there. We danced, we laughed, the usual. Amanda, Face, Ashley and her cousin, Dusty showed up Saturday. I also saw some people I hadn't seen in a long time. Lori and Jimmy were out there. I've known Lori since I was 7 years old, she's the one who first started teaching me. I still have my first shawl that she gave me one day at dance practice. It was awesome to see her and her husband out there. Jimmy seems like he's relaxed a lot, which it really cool.
I also got to see Shannon and her older sister, Kristine who I hadn't seen in at least 2 years.
So, the entirity of the day was amazing. I got to see people, we danced our butts off. . .I embarassed some white boy in the circle by making him lead a two-step with me. lol
Anyways, moving on. That night was pretty mellow. I hung out with Steven and Charlie (I was sad, Amanda had to leave that night.) But, hanging out with the two of them was very insightful. lol. You learn a lot of things when you hang out with a Chemist and a Historian. Just sayin'
So, some how we got on a conversation about earning eagle feathers. I can't quite remember how it came up, but it did. Charlie commented that he had earned a lot of them but didn't have all the ones he earned. I asked him (and it's funny because later I realized Grandaddy had asked him the exact same question at Floridatown last year) if he had any and he said he had one. . .And of course something slapped me in the forehead and I had to do it.
The next morning me and mamaw brought one of Grandaddy's eagle feathers and I explained to him that someone had told me to do something and I'm sure he could figure out who. I brought up the conversation we had had the night before and I gave him the feather. Honestly I've never seen him so speechless, let alone on the brink of tears.
He didn't have to say anything at all, even though later he thanked me for it. . .I told him it wasn't me, I was just doing was I was told to do. He understood.
It's odd, because I had never really talked to Charlie before, not like we did this past weekend.
He showed me a spot in the woods behind a vendor where the ancient ones were. A place I had never been in the ten years I've been going to North Bay. Honestly. What he showed me makes me sad to see some of the people on that land and how they treat it. There is so much there.
After that we got ready for grand entry. We were all by the east gate when Judy who was the arena director for the weekend told Charlie she wanted him carrying the eagle staff. Charlie being who he is, he was honored to do so. . .I didn't express this to him, but I have a feeling that Judy had a little help with that desicion that day. During Grand Entry something really amazing happened.

For the past 2 months, anytime a memorial song has been played at a pow wow I have cried.
I've cried because it hurt so bad to not be able to see Grandaddy out there with the rest of the veterans. . .But, this time it was different. I stood beside Steven during the entire grand entry and I made comment the moment we got lined up around the circle that Charlie was going to end up making me cry. . .When he posted the eagle staff, and I saw that feather in his hand, when I saw how proud he was to carry it. I couldn't help but cry. But for the first time in the past 2 months, they were good tears. They were proud tears. At that moment seeing how much he honored Grandaddy, it was amazing. So, after grand entry and everyone was out of the circle, the first thing I did was go over and hug him. . .and I couldn't help but break down in tears and I have never been so honest with any of the guys that I call brothers at a pow wow. I told him I had never been so proud to call him my brother, and it was true. From that moment on the energy was amazing. It's unexplainable. I was in such a good mood and I wanted to explain it to everyone but I couldn't. It was impossible. The only way I can possibly think to even attempt to put my feeling (and the feeling I still have) into words is peaceful. And I owe a lot of that to Charlie, and I'm not sure if he fully understands it or not. But I am glad to have him in my life, no. . .I am blessed to have him in my life.

The peaceful feeling that began at that moment has continued and I still have it in my heart at this very moment. But there are other things going on in my mind as well.
There is so much I want to do, the main thing that I am worried about right now is my school.
I have said before that I hate how far behind I am and I want to get my GED but it seems so far out of reach right now. However, tonight I decided to really do something about it. Mama has told me before she would help me with whatever she could. The only thing I need to improve to pass my test is my math. Which, I've never fully admitted to anyone how bad my math skills really are because honestly, I feel stupid when I admit that I only know basic math. I feel stupid when there are kids younger than me that can do higher math than I can. So, I'm going to talk to her. She is one person I feel like I can talk to, especially when it comes to something like this. I know she will be encouraging and I appreciate that and I could probably use it.

But none-the-less, things that happend at North Bay have made me seriously think about some of the things in my life. They've made me think about my future and what I want to do with it.
And, no doubt that this coming weekend will be just as amazing.
We're going to stay at Bobby and Sandy's again for Floridatown. It's going to be pretty awesome.
I can't wait to see everyone again. Let alone, I can't wait to dance again. . .and Ken will be there as well.

So, I will probably update again soon.
Hopefully.

Love & [World] Peace
Brandi <3