Songs in which I have been abusing the play button on.

I've been checking out a lot of new music here lately...and this is pretty much a sum of my favorites.

"Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars
"Grenade" - Bruno Mars
"Count On Me" - Bruno Mars
"Who Is?" - Bruno Mars
"According To You" - Orianthi
"Shut Up and Kiss Me" - Orianthi
"Courage" - Orianthi Feat. Lacey (Of Flyleaf)
"Need You" - Travie McCoy
"Fuck You" - Cee-Lo Green
"Pretty Girl Rock" - Keri Hilson
"Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
"Whip My Hair" - Willow Smith
"Shake" - Jesse McCartney
"We R Who We R" - Ke$ha
"Too Close For Comfort" - McFly
"Raise Your Glass" - Pink
"I Won't Apologize" - Selena Gomez
"Blacklight" - One Call

I just want to make a quick note about a couple of these....
Bruno Mars = an amazing song writer. I love his lyrics!
Orianthi = I envy her guitar skills. She's an amazing artist.
Travie McCoy = Love Gym Class Heroes, so it's no surprise I love his solo stuff
Cee-Lo Green = This song is epic. Nuff said.
Keri Hilson = "Pretty Girl Rock" is amazing. It's a pretty woman empowering song =)
Willow Smith = This girl surprised me. I heard "Will Smith's daughter has a song." the first thing that popped in my head "Oh no, not another child star that won't be able to live up to their parents"....She proved me wrong. I'm obsessed with "Whip My hair" <3
McFly = I heard about them forever ago via NLT (Go figure, right?) and I rediscovered how amazing this song is a couple of weeks ago.
Selena Gomez = One of the few songs I like of hers
One Call = Really? haven't I said it a million times already? THEY ARE AMAZZZZZING!!! <3

So yeah, that's a pretty good update of my playlist right now....
Ohhhh other than christmas stuff but I'm just now starting with that.
There's a couple of awesome ones though =)

Oh well, keep rocking ;)
- <3 B

Wait....Who made what? and it's on iTunes?!?!?!

ONE CALL.
HAS A MUSIC VIDEO!!!!

This is behind times, I know....but I have been busy and neglected the boys for way too many months.
It is a song they wrote and produced (Go OC!!) and it is AMMMAAAZZZINNNGG!!!!
and before I go on to review it, I also have MORE amazing news about the guys.
They got signed! To JIVE records!!! That is HUGE. So proud of them and so glad things are going in the right direction for them....For once.
But, back to the video.

The song is called "Blacklight" it's very much so something you would dance to in the club, but it is very One Call.
The first line (sung by the still amazing, Jose B.) says; "Well shut out the house light and turn on the blacklight" the beats are amazing, the lyrics catchy. It's got successful single written all over it.

The video is based in a warehouse and has a lot of dancing it is.
My first impression/thought was "Damn, they might actually have a chance."
And I'm not saying they are better than all the other groups. But, let's face it...
NLT, Menudo, VFC (When there were with StoneHall) have always tried to "sugar coat" their music and actions.

They would direct it at a certian audience, I'm not sure if it was on purpose or not but I noticed it.
They wrote and recorded songs that would be appealing to girls aged 12-18. The typical boyband fan group. And I won't lie, One Call was doing it at first too. "Talk About Love", "Turn It Up", "Them Girls", "Symphony", "Talkin' Bout Us", while they are all amazing songs, they are all songs that would appeal to the same group. But this, this is different. "Blacklight" seems as if it would have an appeal to a variety of age groups and people. It's something most people would dance to when they went out to a club.
Personally, I wouldn't (I'm not) able to stand still when it's playing. I can't wait to get it on my iPod to listen to it all the time.

Which leads me to my next piece of info.
Both the song and video are on iTunes! Yes! Their first song on iTunes!!! How amazing is this?!?!?!
The song is $1.29
and the video is $1.99....
Go buy them both and support the guys...instead of downloading it off of YouTube/limewire/frostwire or whatever other illegal music source you choose to get your pirates music from =P

I knew it was only a matter of time.

- <3 B

Too many months between posts....

Okay, so....Yeah, a LOT has happened.

I'm single.
I cried...A lot.
But, I'm okay now and I don't hate him.

I'm out of school now and waiting for my final results to tell me if I passed and will get my GED.
I am now trying to figure out what I am going to do now.

I need to get my permit so I can learn how to drive.
I need to get my license.
I need to get a car.
and most importantly, I need to get a job.

I have no income, therefore cannot pay insurance, car payment, etc...

I have some goals I would really like to accomplish before the end of next year.
I want my license and a car.
I was a good job that I can pay my own bills with (Car insurance, car payment if needed, cellphone etc..)
and I would really like to have a place of my own.

That is one of my big goals in life, to have a place of my own.
and I am now working towards that.

I'm going to work on me for now...Getting my life together, improving my health, etc...
You know that whole self-improvement thing? Yeah, gonna try my hand at it again.
We'll see how it goes! :)

"No ocean's to wide and no mountain's too high"

"Cause together or not, our dance won't stop" <3

Okay, I knew when we first started out that this whole long distance thing was going to suck.

Now I'm really starting to realize it.
I miss you so bad.

I'm so worried I won't get to see you this weekend.
I haven't seen you in over a month.
I miss you.
I love you.

I need you...

I need to hold you in my arms again...
I need to kiss you and tell you I want to spend forever with you.

I feel so bad because I can't "do my part"...I rag you so badly about things being equal between us and I can't even get gas money to come and see you. I hate it.

I wish we didn't live so far apart.

Mom said earlier, "Love's hard isn't it? Makes you feel like none of it's worth it sometimes right?" I told her "No, it's all worth it" and it made me cry even harder.

I'm gonna be honest...I'm considaring moving closer to him.
Whenever possible.

You have no idea how hard it is to be away from him.

Feels like part of my heart is two hours away...

Please let things work out for next weekend...
I need to see him

"When this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bare"

"Just call me up, because you know I'll be there"

I just want to put this out there:
I have the most AMAZING friends...No.
Steven is more than a friend.
He's like a brother.

He told me tonight,
"You rock, you know that right?"
Me: "lol ok? I do?"
Him: "Yep."
"Always make me smile"
"good stuff"
Me: "Ummm...Ok lol"
Him: "lol"

Simple.
Most people would completely not understand why it meant so much.

Most recently...Actually, more so since last September
I've fully recognized how awesome of a brother Steven is.
He has helped me through the last 9 months more than he can ever realize.

I just can't thank him enough for being there for me.
He is an awesome brother and will always be...

- Me <3

Completely frustrating...

Okay, maybe I'm just being hard headed, maybe not.

But I hate how I can't get him to realize he doesn't have to spend money on me...
My phone bill isn't his responsibility.

But does he realize that? Hell no.

Does he listen to me half the time? No.
I get it, he loves me and I know the phone thing is he wants to be able to talk to me and he knows mom isn't gonna put money on it...

But still...This trip...and this has nothing to do with him but mom shouldn't assume he's going to give her money for gas...That annoys the fuck out of me.
It's not his responsibility to make sure we've got gas money for this trip...It's hers.
If she got off her ass and did something she'd have more money...If she didn't spend it all, she'd have more money.

She needs to grow up and stop acting like a 2 year old.
and she needs to stop being a complete bitch.

I love her, but damn...

I'm so ready for this week to be over with.
I want to see Tony, I want to go to the pow wow....
I've got such a head ache, my neck hurts, I didn't sleep worth a crap last night...
and it's all stress related.

I'm stressed about this weekend...
I'm stressed cause I can't see him yet..
I'm stressed about not being able to do a Shawl Circle class...
ugh....

I need to see him, that will make it a little bit better...
A lot better...

Friday.
4 1/2 more days.

Fin.

Everything I Do (I Do It For You)

Okay...I suck with words sometimes...
Especially when it's something that means a lot to me.

I hate that too. It goes right alongside me hating the self-concious part of me.

I love you so much and I just wish I could tell you how much.

I would do anything in the world for you.
I really would jump in front of a bullet to save your life...

You are the only person I want to be with.
And the only person I've ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

I don't want you to get upset when I say I don't want to have sex or get married yet.
It has nothing to do with not thinking this will last.
I trust you, I trust this...I believe this will last and I want it to, more than anything.

There is so much, so many emotions and feelings with you that I've never had before.
You say this is true love...I believe it.
You know why? Because I thought I loved someone before, but the feelings I have towards you make the feelings I had towards that person look like an elementary school crush.
I believe this is true love because I've never wanted to make another human being as happy as I want to make you, I've never missed someone as bad as I miss you....I never dreamed that I would have a hard time getting to sleep at night because I didn't have someone by my side, but that night after we dropped you off, it took me hours laying there in bed to finally fall asleep.
And it was even harder to wake up and you not be there...I finally know what you mean about waking up to the one you love. It is an amazing feeling and after you've done it for about a week straight, it's hard not to.

I want you to know that one thing I never want is for you to be hurt.
I don't want you to think I'm like those girls who've hurt you or used you...
I would never do that.

I want you to trust me and trust that you are the only guy I want in my life.
Hell, I told a guy no to a two-step because I knew you didn't know him and wouldn't trust him.
I told him no because when I thought about you, there was no comparison.

I realized something being at the pow wow without you.
I'm not gonna lie, there were guys there that were available and close to my age.
But I didn't even look...I didn't realize it until afterwards but I didn't pay attention to any of them and you know why? Because you were the only guy I wanted to think about.
Because I missed you and was wishing you were there.

I don't know that you'll ever even read all of this...
But if you do, know that I love you more than anything and just trust that I won't break your heart...I know that's a big thing to ask, but baby, I trust you...and that goes beyond you not cheating or you being honest....I trust that you won't break my heart, I trust that you're going to be the amazing guy I know you are and I hope you can trust me in the same way.

I love you <3